Have you ever felt like you were doing something that wouldn’t really make a difference, like you were spinning your wheels just to get through the task? Maybe you feel like that at work. Maybe it’s that committee you joined and realized is strangling you. Maybe it’s your relationship. You know that something is off, but hey, you just keep going.
In this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne, you’ll poke around at the concepts of Alignment and Congruence and even a phenomenon called “the gambler’s dilemma.”
Let’s start right there! The gambler’s dilemma happens when you’re playing a game; you’re invested. You’ve begun betting, and you realize that your hand is okay, but it’s only just okay. It’s not great. You’re not sure that you’ll win, but you don’t want to lose. The dilemma is this – you’ve invested so much already, you aren’t sure whether to go in further or whether you should (even could) drop out. You’re faced with the harsh reality that if you drop out, there are going to be real losses. On the other hand, if you do drop out, you could start again differently, using a different strategy, and build better hand.
In the game of life, you experience the gambler’s dilemma when you have invested so much (time, money, energy, even love) in something that isn’t working the way you want it to.
You could invest more, but you’ve invested so much already. You could possibly still get a payoff, but if you invest more and don’t get what you had hoped for, your losses are so much greater.
You don’t dare fold. Or… should you?
This kind of dilemma demands that you head back to your personal core values. It also demands that you look at the goals that you set for yourself. In the #1 best-selling book, The Significance Factor, you can explore even further how to measure success. You’ve set out on a path to get to this place called success, but when you get there, you’re not fulfilled. Why?
The journey changes you.
The only way to feel truly successful is to begin by feeling truly successful. The gambler’s dilemma cannot happen if you enjoy being in the game. Then, success happens every single day. Real joy comes from waking up and being able to get into the game.
I awaken every day feeling grateful that I get to play. Sure there are days that I don’t want to set my alarm for a 3am start to make a 5:15am boarding of a flight. But then, I do. I do because I am called to serve. There are times that you don’t want to put your gym clothes on and work out. As a parent – heck… as an adult, even, there are times that you don’t want to have to do any number of things (get up, buy and make food, wash clothes, etc.). But you do. Why?
Because those little successes are aligned with who you are. These are little wins on the way to something greater.
But what about the times that you’re not feeling it? What about the times that it’s a day after day drudgery and the payoff isn’t coming. You go to that job because it’s a job and it’s safe.
Where you work, the relationship you’re in, even what you eat… you do the same things day after day because that’s what you’ve always done. Those aren’t successes. You’re out of alignment and it’s killing you.
You find yourself stuck and you know there’s more.
Living in congruence is one of the key values that High Performers (people I refer to as the DynamicLeader®) reach and maintain. My DynamicLeader® clients know that they get to choose. And that’s powerful. It’s powerful to recognize that you do choose, every day. So, are you choosing to dive in deeper? Or, are you choosing to get out?
Here’s something you don’t hear every day: You Have Permission To Quit!
You also have permission to invest further.
I’m not saying you get to quit when it gets hard. Nope, life and the pursuit of your goals and dreams, that’s hard. In fact, that’s the time to invest further! You get to quit when you aren’t living in alignment with who you are. In fact, not only do you get to, you must. Step back, reevaluate, and then get back into the game even deeper because your daily tasks are aligned with a greater vision, YOUR Values-Based-Vision!
You probably want to live a life fulfilled. Unfortunately, most people don’t even bother to figure out what that means. By following a few simple-yet-strategic steps, you can truly enjoy every day, even when it’s a not easy.
- Know your values!
- My DynamicLeader® clients build three key words to live into every day. Who do you want to become? How do you want to be? Keep those values in front of you every day.
- Evaluate – are you living into your values or are you out of alignment? Every day you need to assess (on a scale of one-to-ten, how did I do relative to my values today?).
- If you’re not above a seven every day, YOU have to change yourself or your environment.
- Be grateful – it doesn’t always go your way. So, even then, for what can you be grateful?
- Know what you’re after – I call that knowing your EPO (Envisioned Positive Outcome) in my first book Choosing Your Power.
- Evaluate – ask yourself, “is what I’m doing right now getting me closer to or further from my goals?”
- Make course corrections –
- You’ll be off course many times during the day or the life of a project. Tweak your behaviors to get back on course.
- Pause to acknowledge and celebrate. Recognize that you didn’t get to where you are by yourself. You had the support of a team or perhaps a family member. Pause. Be thankful, and offer particular recognition.
Living as a DynamicLeader® means you’re stepping into your day courageously (doing the hard things) with vitality – full of energy and joy. You’re crushing it by being maximally productive. And you get others to join you in support of your projects.
My High-Performance clients live full out and are in alignment with their true values. When they’re not, they change course to get there. Your goals and the steps you take toward them need to underscore who you are. And who you are becoming needs to be seen in the actions you take every day.
There’s no gambler’s dilemma when you live your life in alignment. So… how’re you doing?
Go crush it out there and keep making your magic!
~ Dr P ~
Want to dive in deeper? This isn’t for everyone. This might not be for you. But if you’re ready to make dramatic leaps in your personal and professional development and positively change the trajectory of your life, maybe NOW really is the time. It’s your time. You can find out much more about Dr Wayne Pernell’s exclusive and space-limited DynamicLeader® Programs by following the links found in this blog post and/or clicking here to download an application.