The concept of “set point” came up in a recent coaching conversation. While typically associated with a certain weight that a body seems to settle at, I believe that the notion of set-point extends to other factors in our lives including fitness, finances, and friendship. I also believe that we can shift any given set point and not settle for what’s comfortable (even uncomfortably comfortable).
You get comfortable, you settle for what’s easy, and in so doing, you hold yourself back. High performing DynamicLeaders don’t hold themselves back, and in this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne, you’re diving into what I call The Cost Of Comfort.
On my recent coaching call, we discussed what an ideal weight was, what was easy, and what trigger there was as an alert to change something. The truth is that you probably aren’t at your ideal weight. In addition to that truth is the fact that it is likely that you haven’t even identified your ideal weight. And, to extrapolate, you haven’t identified your ideal financial situation. Nor have you identified your ideal level of intimacy with your friends, family, associates, or community. (Yes, intimacy – Ask this of yourself: how close do you let others really get to you?)
The cost of comfort is that in failing to define and then commit to a desired state, you simply live as you have been living, believing that everything is “just fine” because there’s not much you can do about it anyway. You become fat, bored, and complacent.
You express your discontent with your current state by muttering something about the image in the mirror and wishing things were different. In merely being comfortable with living your day to day life the way you do, the outcome of moderate dissatisfaction nags at you while internally, you vacantly wish that things were truly different (I wish I were thinner, younger, wealthier, etc.). The truth is that you can shift your weight, you can enhance your youthful attitude, and you can improve your financial picture. But will you?
The cost of comfort is that it’s easy to live day to day, doing what you do, with your clothes not fitting quite right, with your financial health just out of reach, and an ache of feeling isolated even when you’re surrounded by people.
Yes, we all have a set point.
My personal experience is that my weight “set point” is about 27 pounds above my ideal. What that means to me is that I’ve gotten comfortable eating and drinking a certain way, sleeping a certain way, and being active in a certain way. I am not 20 years old any more, so my habits need to adapt. Still, I could very comfortably live my life the way I have, all the while knowing that the cost of that comfort is at the expense of my sleep, my breathing, my self-image, and ultimately my higher performance in thinking. Personally, I have opted to change my set point.
How about you? In order to make a shift in your physical body, you may have to change your mindset. Maybe at this point it’s hormonal and you need a true reset of some sort. There are some great resources out there for that (message me if you want a recommendation).
And take inventory of the other areas. What did you get comfortable with as your set point. Instead of the mirror, maybe you look at your financial account(s) and grimace or mutter something under your breath. The truth is, even that area needs a reset of mindset and actions. Because, you’re not 20 any more either.
Did you ever notice grumpy people? I’m writing at an airport and there’s plenty to get grumpy about. A mechanical issue and now weather has delayed my plane four times. You know what? I choose to stay curious, wondering what this extra time in the airport will bring. I choose to smile at people to see if they’ll smile back (it’s working). I choose to bring joy and vitality to every interaction.
What about you? Is the cost of comfort to be grumpy, push people away, and then make up stories about people, telling yourself that they aren’t worth it, keeping you grumpy and pushing people away? Now THAT’S a cycle, isn’t it? By the way, I know that’s not you because people who subscribe to my blog aren’t people trapped in that cycle. YOU are here to serve, but we know people who are trapped there, right? And it’s sad. That’s their set point for being with others.
So, check your thermostat for every area of your life. Yeah, take a moment. Just check in with yourself. What’s your “set point” for your health, your wealth, and your interpersonal interactions?
Let me know how you’ve changed or are planning your change. Let me know what kind of results you’ve gotten. Let me know what kind of support you need.
Here’s to you changing your set point and upping your game!
Keep making your magic!
~ Dr P ~