Botched Bridge Building

Isn’t it great to share experiences with other people? When you’ve had a great vacation or enjoyed a great movie or meal somewhere, you want to let others know about it. 

 

In an effort to connect and share in the experience, great conversations get hijacked and turned into something that actually serves to disconnect rather than to engage. We interject with a shared experience and the comment of “me too” doesn’t build the sought rapport.

 

“I can’t wait to get back to traveling.”

“Me too! Disneyland is my favorite and I can’t wait for it to open fully.”

 

(Obviously, this isn’t about the hashtag me too movement. That’s important for solidarity and awareness.) 

 

Here, “me too” serves to take away from the other’s experience.

 

Instead, try inquiry. 

 

“Traveling is great! Where do you want to go first?”

 

That step serves to draw out and validate the emotion the other is experiencing.

 

Draw out and validate – not hijack.

 

A simple concept that is often so easily overlooked.  

 

Let the feeling of that “me too” kind of excitement coming on be a clue to ask first, then share. Draw out and validate first.

 

That’s how you build bridges.

 

See you here next week!

 

= Wayne =