Bending Reality

Over 15 years ago, thoughts about eyewitness testimony shifted. We learned that the eyes, and the people behind the eyes, view the world through the lens of personal bias. 

 

Sure, we all have biases. Some of us are aware when they poke through, and we seek additional information. Most people are unaware of their personal biases and therefore, filter information to validate what they know.

 

Our past influences how we experience anything. From the mundane to the exhilarating, we each have our own realities. We could each be a part of the same situation – a concert, political event, or even a simple conversation – and still experience it differently. 

 

The title of today’s blog is Bending Reality. That requires you to know that your reality is different from mine. And if that’s true, then we can choose to experience our worlds in a new way. 

 

We can choose how we feel. That’s perhaps controversial. And, if you look at the process of how you allow your emotions to emerge, you’ll see that you are in a situation, you tell yourself something about what you’ve just experienced or seen, that something is filtered by everything you’ve been taught up to this point. With the meaning you gave to the event, your thoughts lead to your emotion: You’re outraged. You’re saddened. You’re excited. You’re fearful. You’re ashamed. You’re proud.

 

Two people could win the lottery and one might show up as excited and the other might show up as embarrassed. Why the difference? Early stories about wealth.

 

Two people could lose a parent or close friend. One is grateful and joyful, the other is mournful and depressed. It’s only early stories and cultural norms that make the difference.

 

It’s funny how we’re taught to feel guilty if we don’t match the cultural norms for certain events. 

 

Stay clear about what you feel and why. What if you just checked in with yourself to determine how you really felt? 

 

Years ago, when I was managing a healthcare division, I was told that I didn’t look worried enough about a particular “numbers situation.” Unrelated to direct healthcare, it was a metrics issue. And I “didn’t look worried enough.” Apparently, I didn’t look – to others – like the situation mattered. I chose to focus on managing and solution seeking at a higher level. It didn’t make sense to me to wring my hands and walk the hallways in despair.

 

I chose how I felt. I chose my focus. 

 

And you can too. 

In any situation, you get to choose how to feel and how to engage. There’s a beautiful year ahead, if you bring that beauty to it!

 

Keep shining your light.

Keep making your magic.

 

= Wayne = 

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