Direct and Kind
Clarity of desire helps you get clarity of direction. It is SO important to have that, so that you can have clarity of expectations.
Then you can ask yourself:
- What do you expect?
- Do you expect it from others (e.g., family or team members)?
- Do they know?
- What are you getting?
- If it matches expectations, did you praise them (and/or yourself) for hitting the target you wanted?
- If it didn’t match expectations, do you know how to adjust?
You’ve got to get clear.
You’ve got to stay clear.
And you’ve got to communicate in a way that others are clear, as well.
Clarity really does count on all levels.
“I want a coffee” is a different statement from “I would like a small Americano with almond milk, please.”
You’ll get a warm beverage in both cases, one may be for you, the other may not.
Be direct.
Be kind.
People don't know what you're thinking. They may guess, but they'll often be off, guessing wrong. When you lead, whether that's a team, a family, or even yourself, be direct. Be clear. And Be kind. Being direct and clear doesn't mean being a poo-head. And though it can feel harsh, letting others know where you stand can be one of the kindest acts you can do.
There was a senior VP of an organization I consulted with several years back. She had a reputation for having an ego and for communicating really badly. She’d direct those under her to produce a report. Once delivered, she’d shoo them away, exclaiming that it wasn’t at all what she was looking for.
Her direct reports or skip levels would skulk back to their desks, hoping to produce something that would meet her approval. After two to three tries, they’d feel the true agony of defeat.
This woman was neither kind nor direct. She was condescending and a bit of a bully.
What’s so oddly astonishing is that everyone could have come out ahead if she had simply made clear what she was looking for rather than being so dismissive of what she wasn’t looking for.
Examine your communication.
Are you clear on your own values? I mean, really clear?
Are you clear about your expectations for yourself and those around you?
Do you support those from whom you’ve asked something so that they can be successful in getting it completed? HELLO LEADERS AND PARENTS – THIS IS A BIG ONE THAT’S OFTEN OVERLOOKED!
Do you check in with others to offer guidance, assistance, and/or support?
Go be that.
Be clear.
Be direct.
Be kind.
The world needs all of that right now.
Less shouting, more clarity.
And if you want to learn to uplevel your life in a meaningful way, you’ve got to check this out!
See you next week! Keep Making Your Magic!
= Wayne =