Life's Little Hypocrisies

Have you ever come face-to-face with doing something that is diametrically opposed to the advice you give others?  This is probably the toughest Wednesdays With Wayne that I’ve ever written because, well, I just had to reconcile my actions against my words.  I was looking for all kinds of reasons not to write this one.  I’ve even had some great concepts for other blogs I could do this week and yet, I don’t think I can rest until I get this out.

True confessions?  Maybe.  And I do so in the spirit of sharing authentically so that we all might get better.

I like to think I’m making a difference in the world, don’t you?  I mean, that’s why you’re here.  So let me ask you this… have you ever given advice that deep down you knew you had to heed?  Maybe it was to tell people to eat better or suggesting your favorite exercise that you’re not even doing anymore.  Maybe it’s as simple as “drink more water,” while you’re too busy during the day to grab your own.

For me, it was “family first.”  My clients are at different levels of development and they’re learning balance.  We already know from a previous blog that there is no such thing as work/life balance.  There’s life and there’s what you choose to put into it.  It could be that you have been busy at work, building work, and feeling guilty about taking time off for yourself.  You may be struggling with whether a vacation makes sense when you could produce that extra bit.

You wrestle with the concepts of feeling supported by your family and supporting your family.  I mean, isn’t that why you’re working so hard… so they can have more?

But they don’t have you.

And I ran head on into that recently.  I’ve been working really hard, doing what feels like three full-time jobs sometimes.  I’ve been on the road for 10 weeks straight coming home long enough to flip out a suitcase and pack up clean clothes to head out again.

My “kids,” now pretty much adults, are scattered across multiple states.  I know they’re doing well.  I’m proud of them.  And I miss them.  In all of my travels, in all of my push to create and make things better for them, I don’t feel like I’ve been as present for them as I’ve wanted to.  And the last time I told a client that it’s okay if he rescheduled a business project because… well… family first, my stomach began to churn and my eyes began to fill.

This is about alignment. I’m probably the busiest and most productive I’ve ever been.  And unless we stop to reconnect, what’s it all for?

I’m not writing to seek understanding or forgiveness.  In fact, I know my “kids” and my wife understand that I’m busy and I know they support me in that.  I also know that this needs fixing.

Utilizing a concept explained both at Pride Institute where I’m the Director of O.D. and a senior consultant and here in my DynamicLeader® programs, where I’m building leaders across the country and beyond, I can rectify the situation.  That is, by using Block Time.

When values misalign from actions, it’s time to take inventory.

Then, it’s time to course-correct by taking new action.

What that means is that, for the rest of the year, I’m setting aside time.  And planning into next year, I’m setting aside time.

I am blocking specific units of time -

Time for work, time for other work, time for play, time for health and rejuvenation, and yes, time for family.

We’re only given so many calendar pages to turn.  

The question then is this – where are you misaligned in your values, your advice to others, and your actions?

What do YOU need to do to fix that?  You have NOW to begin.

Being a DynamicLeader® means building a clarity of purpose that allows everything else to line up behind it.  It means managing your energy so that you can get done all of the things you really want to get done and still be truly present for those who need you.  It means stepping into the hard stuff and sometimes stepping away from the stuff that no longer matters but was a regular part of your life.  It means being productive to the point that people wonder how you can do it all (and one life-hack was lightly touched on here).  And it means that you communicate in a way that people listen, care about you and your direction, and step up to support you.

To learn more about the DynamicLeader® programs, reach out to me at [email protected]

Keep making your magic!

All the best to you!

~ Dr P ~