That One Person

Pretty much every time I consult with an organization, I hear about that one person who seems to be “the problem child.” There’s that one person who doesn’t listen to expectations, doesn’t meet expectations, and then blames everyone else as the “reason” they couldn’t get done what needed to be done.

 

Years and years (and years) ago, when I was the regional HR Director at Whole Foods Market, one of the senior leaders exclaimed, “Why can’t they just do their f’ing job!” 

 

You might have a coworker like this.

You might know family members or friends like this.

You might have just “survived” a Thanksgiving holiday and be gearing up for more relative imbalance at the end of this month. 

 

What happens that this one person seems to need everyone else to make their world right? And, more important, what happens to you when you have to engage with that person?

 

Whether at work or at home or in someone else’s home, there are some strategies to help you. First, recognize that if you are in a management or leadership position, it’s your responsibility to ensure that your team members are doing their jobs effectively and efficiently. 

 

Use this simple formula:

• Here was the expectation
• Here’s the outcome or output that you produced (or here’s the behavior we’ve seen)
• This is still the expected outcome
• What do you need to meet expectations, because that’s not happening now.

 

This is an important process because you’re identifying expectations that don’t change and that the deliverable was off. You’re also offering support. And—this is key—you’re not playing to any drama.

 

With friends or family, that’s also the key when one person might seem like they’re so full of drama, they can’t help but stir things up. Do not feed any drama. Don’t get sucked into emotional stories of woe. And, if you have had this person in your life, you know there will be plenty of stories.

 

Instead, stay focused on the reason for the event. (Just as with the work example, you’ll focus on the desired outcome.) Offer something like, “isn’t it great we can all get together.” Or perhaps, focus on the food, “what a beautiful table.” Keep it light. Stay out of politics. Stay out of other hot topics. This kind of stuff is fuel for energetic vampires of this sort. Stay polite and find your exit.

 

Remember, your world is one of light and it’s important not to have it doused by anyone. Make an early exit if you need to. You’re engaging by choice. You aren’t required to try multiple ways to garner the other person’s approval. In fact, you don’t need anyone else’s approval at all.

 

Get intentional this month. There will be all kinds of opportunities to spend, or overspend, your energy. Smile. Bring your light. Then, exit.

 

Keep making your magic!

 

= Wayne = 

P.S. Clarity, Desire, Direction, and Focus were all outcomes of my small group summit that I led in October in Portugal. On April 3rd – 5th, I’m leading a small group in the exploration of Exponential Success. It’s personal. It’s for you. And if you want in, reach out to me or go HERE to register. (Clicking the link gives you more information. Click through now!)