Wayne-isms Part TWO – It’s Not About You
We get so fired up when someone threatens our identity.
Think about the last time you felt offended or outright angry about something.
Something inside of you felt like it was being taken from you. A piece of you worth fighting for.
By the way, your sports team sucks.
Whatttt? That’s MY team you’re talking about.
We want to belong. We want to fight for our group, our beliefs, our unified force. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Just remember, it’s not personal.
If I say that your sports team sucks, that’s a comment about me.
You don’t have to prove me wrong, because it’s not about you. And pretty much never, ever, in the course of human history has anyone come to an argument or debate ready to be swayed in their beliefs. So, we shout louder, believing that some injustice is being done to us, personally.
It’s not about you!
Really, it’s just that simple.
If you’re triggered, you can go back to the skill I showed you last week and wield curiosity.
Hmmmm, I wonder what’s going on with that person that they’d behave that way? I know what I believe. What they’re ranting about is not what I believe. I’m not threatened by their believing differently that I believe. So, what might I be missing about the context of the situation? What might I be missing about the other person? And what might I be missing about myself – what biases might I be bringing to this right now, at this very moment.
Oh, if only it were that easy.
Ahhh, but it really is!
- Staying in curiosity keeps you out of judgment.
- It’s not about you. It’s really not.
Keep making your magic and I’ll see you here next week.
= Wayne =
Build your plan, live into what you REALLY want. Reach out to find out more about my super small group mastermind I’m holding in Portugal in October.