Who’s To Blame?

Who’s to blame for this?

That question presupposes that someone or something outside of yourself can be held accountable when, if you’re posing a question about blame, you’re likely part of the problem.

 

A “gotcha” culture exists in organizations and families and never, ever has that kind of culture served anyone except the person at the top. 

 

If you’re accountable to yourself and your team, you’ll ask questions of yourself first. “What conditions did I allow/tolerate for this result to exist?”

 

The cat knocks over a precious item: “F’ing cat!!!” or… “What conditions did I allow/tolerate for this result to exist?” (Actually, if you have a cat, it’s probably both of those reactions.)

 

A team member blows a sale with a potentially huge client. 

Fire the team member? Train them?

Again, the question is, “What conditions did I allow/tolerate for this result to exist?”

Some other answer might crop up so that the situation never happens again.

 

Seriously, what’s THE WORST thing that has ever happened to you?

There are some pretty bad things out there over which we may or may not have control. The question is “What conditions did I allow/tolerate for this result to exist?” With the follow up question of “What needs to change so that I can get a different result?”

 

It’s a reasonable argument to say that no one caused themselves to be abused or to become afflicted with a disease. That said, once here, right now, what different outcome can you create for yourself and, by extension, those around you? Relive a trauma over and over? Or grow, learn, forgive, love, and take other appropriate action. 

 

“Who’s to blame?” doesn’t get you a different result. It keeps you stuck. 

“What needs to happen to get a different result?” in itself demands a different (dare I say parallax) perspective.

 

Responsibility beats Blame every time. 

It’s your life, and though we all die at some point, while you’re here you have choices. What choice will you make today to let go of guilt, anger, blame, and shame so that you truly own your life and can create an exceptionally positive outcome for yourself and those around you?

 

Keep making your magic! You’ve got this!

 

= Wayne = 

 ~ Dr P ~ 

 

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