How often has someone near you done something or suggest you do something together to which you responded (either with that voice in your head or out loud), “Oh, yeah, but that’s just not me.”
That’s fine for someone else, but that’s just not me.
Welcome to Wednesdays With Wayne where this week I’m asking you the question – How Do You Know???
Dancing is fine for other people, but that’s just not me.
Singing karaoke is okay for those people, I mean look, they’ve been drinking, but that’s just not me.
Dying your hair purple is okay, I guess. But wow, that’s just not me.
How do you know?
That purple hair thing… I dared to try it about six years ago.
It’s hair. I knew it’d grow out if I hated it. It’s like trying on a sweater or some other jewelry. It turned out that dying my hair purple made the darker areas darker and the slightly silver areas tinge with color. The thing is, when light hit my hair, POOF – it was clearly purple. I actually thought it was fun. And I really liked most of the responses I got. Most of them….
Yeah. And I ended up at a soiree in a darkened hotel restaurant/lounge area where I stood face-to-face speaking with Darren Hardy, the then-publisher of Success Magazine. We were talking about projects, what it takes to stay positive, and such. All of a sudden, he stopped. My hair had fluoresced under the brighter can-lighting above. “Excuse me,” he said. “But is… is your hair… (he paused) purple???”
“Well, yes!” I replied, smiling (attempting to stay confident while feeling judged).
His head tilted, he was dressed in a suit that would take many paychecks for most people to afford. He was all about appearance and what you put forth in the world. And there I stood, speaking with him. My hair was purple, and I questioned whether that was a bad decision.
He inquired, “Well… Why?”
(As you may know, “why” is my absolute least-favorite word when posed by someone else. Ask it of yourself to determine your own motivators and values, but don’t ask it of someone else or it becomes a blaming/shaming word that sounds like interrogation. The only “right” answer starts with “because” and that’s just a way to justify something that you’ve already been judged for.)
“Well… Why?” echoed in my head.
My response, smiling and keeping eye-contact, “Well… why not?”
And because Mr. Hardy is about success and individual pathways to success, as long as it’s not destructive mentally or physically, he’s okay with it, he said, “Fair enough!”
And the conversation continued.
During the time I had purple hair, most people told me how brave that was and that they liked it. They told me that they wished they could do something so bold and brave. But, they said, that’s just not them.
And so it goes – How Do You Know?
A client just told me that in their team meetings they are taking on the practice of offering thanks to other team members where they’ve helped each other. This is a great practice at places like the Ritz-Carlton among other large and small companies.
The response by most team members was to readily engage in that practice. But one team member’s response was, “oh, that’s just not me.” (And it was from that discussion that this week’s WWW blog was born.)
How could offering gratitude to another human just not be you? At that point, it becomes ego. It’s not about you, it’s about the person who might receive your gratitude.
It’s one thing to put yourself out there and claim some individual style with purple hair, bold jewelry, or singing karaoke.
It’s another thing to withhold a gift that could be so readily given. Don’t you dare pop someone else’s balloon by saying that you can’t see yourself giving compliments to other people.
“Oh, that’s just not me.” Bull-poop!
This comes down to the simple question of, How Do You Know???
Sometimes you have to step out of your comfort zone to be a bigger, better version of you. Sometimes that means doing something that you’ve never done. Sometimes that means studying yourself a little more so that you know what your comfort zone is and where you can push through it.
I continually do that. I’ve enrolled in a couple of high-end coaching programs to expand the way I think AND to try things I’ve never tried.
So what are you doing to push yourself beyond your current capacity? What’s the next place that just isn’t you… YET.
The new saying, instead of “Oh, that just isn’t me” is now, “Oh, I’ve never tried that. I wonder what it will be like.”
And yes, if you want to try coaching or an online program, do go to www.WaynePernell.com and check out the courses I have for you there.
If you just want to push through to something new, then try something – anything – that you’ve never done before.
I’m not offering medical, psychological, legal, or financial advice. I’m just saying, do something that expands who you are from who you were. Maybe that’s offer a compliment to someone when you’d ordinarily stay quiet. Maybe that’s dancing, singing, or painting. Maybe it’s wearing red when you’re used to wearing grey and brown and oatmeal colors.
Live a bit.
Show the world what you have.
Dare to inspire someone else.
And… keep making your magic™!
~ Dr P ~