Have you ever been really hard on yourself for starting something and then not following through? Your diet failed. Your exercise plan failed. Your “read a book a month” plan failed. So… did YOU fail?
Here – you’re forgiven and you get a “do-over.” Yes, in this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne, you’ll move from being down on yourself to taking positive action.
So many people condemn themselves to feeling like a failure that the REAL failure is that of forgetting to take inventory of where you are right NOW. Current state is the baseline. Not where you were. Not what you thought you’d be able to do. And certainly not your New Year’s resolutions.
The thing is that, at this point, we’re almost into Q4 of this year. So what?
That’s a calendar’s assessment of time. What you have is NOW.
In a recent session with one of my High Performance DynamicLeader® clients, we talked about what hasn’t happened… yet. The focus of the call moved from self-flagellation and condemnation to action. Being a person who is a high-performing DynamicLeader® means that you seek a new perspective to do something differently.
You could be upset with yourself for having that extra slice of pizza or staying up that bit too late. You could be upset with someone else (a team member or a family member) for doing something that you know doesn’t help them or others.
And… being upset with yourself or with someone else doesn’t serve you unless you’re looking for sympathy. And even then, it’s just drama, right? You’ve worked really hard to cut the drama out of your life, so what good does it do for you to bring it home?
Instead, use that feeling to trigger an action step, even if it’s a small action step.
Take one, then take another.
Here’s what to do:
- Restate your goal.
- Inventory your current state.
- Determine one SMALL thing you can do in the next four hours to move, even slightly, toward that goal.
- Determine one small thing you can do tomorrow to move toward that goal.
- Do it.
- Do it, again.
- Then, start over at the top by reaffirming your goal.
- Inventory your current state – where are you NOW? Closer to your goal than you were yesterday, right?
- Keep it going. Take an action step.
- Set up an action step for tomorrow.
This stuff takes time. Condemning yourself doesn’t help you get closer to your goal. In fact, if anything, it keeps you stuck.
Use the frustration you’re feeling to motivate you to take action. Then once you’ve overcome inertia, make use of momentum.
When teaching self-defense, one of the things I’d emphasize is the question: What’s Available To Me Now? That allows you to move from condemnation to asking “now what?” (and I don’t mean with the rolling-your-eyes “now what?” I mean with curiosity and enthusiasm, “now what?” Stay curious. Encourage yourself and those around you. And follow the steps listed above.
Until next time, I’m wishing you all the best!
Keep making your magic™!!!
~ Dr P ~
You’re ready to move yourself to the next level and you don’t want to do it alone. Take a look at these new online courses. I made them for you. The Success & Significance Course takes you through your values to redefining what success really looks like for you. The Direct Power System Course helps you enhance your relationships at home and in the world by helping you find your true voice.