In working with a client recently, we were discussing how the rules we were given early on have lingered with us. They become stories and they even come out of our mouths as rules we end up imposing on others.

“Make Good Choices”

It’s a life lesson we like to impose on ourselves and others. Yet if we tell that to our kids who have no frame of reference or life experience, we really are asking the impossible. 

We’re really asking a question – and perhaps need to change that dictate to the question it begs:

What Do You Think the Consequences or Outcome Will Be?

A lot of times, as adults, we don’t actually know the answer to that question and that stops people from moving forward, from testing things, and from learning. As an intelligent adult reading this, think about the times you’ve been sidetracked trying to find ALL of the information before moving forward on something.

Sometimes, you’ll fail.

When I clasp my hands together, my left thumb just naturally lands on top. We each have preferences for what just "feels" right. 

Clasp your hands together. Note which thumb is on top and which pinky is on the bottom. It just feels right. Now, open your hands and close them together again with the opposite thumb on top and your other pinky on the bottom.

It feels just a little awkward, but it’s doable. 

You have preferences in what feels right, and those preferences carry over in how you operate in the world. For example, when looking at your future, you might think in terms of how amazing it will be. Or you might think in terms of the details about what’s needed in order to take yourself forward step-by-step. 

In my #1 Best Selling Book, The Significance Factor, I give you a quick assessment for whether you’re more Operational/Tactical or you’re more Strategic/Inspirational. You probably have an idea. The question...

When I coach my VIP clients, I’ll always start with exploring what my clients say they value and then look at what really shows up.  From there, we can work on realigning what’s important by getting clearer on actions vs. stated desires.

And with that said, I’ll declare something that is now probably very obvious to you: 

Resolutions Don’t Work

Do you know why? It’s because no one is ever truly “resolute.” 

When was the last time you made a “resolution” and kept on it past mid-Feb? Resolutions aren’t the same as goals. And that makes them harder to live into.

Instead, create a values-based filter and focus. What one word can you live into a little bit each day? Think about it. What word will serve to guide you? 

Some examples might be:

• Loving
• Present
• Connected
• Spiritual
• Wealthy
• Healthy

Look at any one of those words. You can set your filter in the morning and at the end of...

I expect a lot of myself. 

And here’s a big secret not many people know about me: I’m also kind of critical of myself – there’s a “not good enough” self-talk that pops up every so often. Yeah… I get it too. 

There’s a realization I came to recently, it was sparked by some reading and then a lot of heavy reflection. It was about how we treat ourselves and I wanted to share that concept here.

If you’re building walls against the world, if you’re critical of yourself, if you’re soothing yourself and your basic anxieties in life with food, sex, or other substances, there’s a question to ask – Is This Love?

The way you woke up today and started your day, is it Love?

The way you spoke to yourself and the people around you, is it Love?

If you’re in sales, are you selling from a place of Love?

If you’re in service, are you serving from a place of Love?

If you’re...

Hey! Where are you going this year? It’s 2022 and it’s time to set your GPS for the year. That is, you’ll want to adjust your thinking using a GPS mindset!

I use milestones like turning a calendar page not only to track progress, but to project it. 

And I do the reverse of that, as well. Specifically, I use milestones not only to project my goals and aspirations onto my calendar, but to track where I’ve been.

I use my birthday (it was in September) as my personal New Year. That said, I suppose I can’t help but to leverage the putting up of a new calendar as motivation to engage in a new reflection. Simply, what do I want to accomplish this year?

To make sure that resolutions don’t become vacant wishes, you need to be really, really specific about where you are heading and what you want. “I want to head west” is different from “I want to ride the Matterhorn at Disneyland.”  Being specific...

Here’s something to think about this week: New Year’s Resolutions fail by about the third week in February. 

As we approach the New Year, think about what you really, truly DESIRE. 

What tugs at you?

What will you honestly be willing to trade time, money, and shift past priorities to do, have, or become?  

Can you let go of what you thought you wanted or convinced yourself you “should” want and open to the possibility of becoming more aligned in this coming year?

What do you want? How will you grow?

Will you become someone who speaks French, increases their income, or has more white space on their calendar? 

What is it you want… truly want?

What is it you truly desire and would tend to like a precious garden?

Dare to desire.

Dare to declare.

Dedicate yourself to attaining it and receive the fruits of your efforts!

Happy New Year!

= Wayne = 

To get you started,...

We’re at the end of the year.

Holiday festivities abound.

There are a lot of groups celebrating in a variety of ways.

There are others who simply aren’t celebrating.

And the calendar page is about to turn… again.

Alone or with others, at this time of year and throughout the year, one thing counts: Gratitude.

At this time of year, opinions will fly, emotions will flare, and things will go wrong.

Let’s get back to basics and remember that it’s grounding and positively impactful when you step into being grateful for the life you have, hardships and blessings. 

Look around.

Take a breath.

Recognize all that you are a part of (vs what you might be feeling apart from).

We’re connected and your positive vibe affects everyone you come in contact with. The ripples are potentially endless.

Gratitude and lifting others – those start with one… they start with you. Take that forward, pass it on.

See...

Why are you wearing that?

Why didn’t you call?

Why are there dishes in the sink?

Want to have a fight and raise tensions at your next family gathering? Here’s a quick-start fire log for ya! A rapid succession of “Why” questions will do the trick!

There are words that will derail a conversation. Avoiding them, especially during the holidays, will help your gatherings go so much more smoothly!

“Why” is a valuable self-introspective tool and something an engineer can use to deconstruct a particular outcome. Beyond that, “why” simply becomes a tool of blame and shame.

You might as well call the other person bad, wrong, and stupid. 

The antidote? 

Instead of “Why,” consider “What” or “How”

What about that outfit do you love?

I didn’t see that you called. What can you do in the future to help us all know what your timing might be?

Since we’re all...

We’re at the end of the calendar year. 

Look back at all you accomplished, especially in the wake of all of the unknowns. You’re here. You made it.

Do yourself a favor – 

List five tactics or habits you employed to get yourself here

Ask a family member, friend, or coworker about theirs. Share your list. You’ll both learn a lot.

Where will you be in your life this time next year?

Choose a target (or two or three)

Plan

Believe it’s possible

Use your strengths list to help you stay in the plan!

You’ve got this!

Keep making your magic!

= Wayne = 

You may be among the millions of people who just survived a family gathering. And it’s possible that you’re trying to figure out, with so much going on, how you’re just going to get through this month.

The social expectations, more family get-togethers, the politics, and holiday cheer… searching for just the right thing, paying for it, decorating, cleaning up, and closing out the year end for your business (or Q2 on a fiscal calendar) … with all of that going on, life can be a little stressful.

Our sleep is disrupted as the seasons change and as we do our best to manage all that’s going on. So if you’re feeling a little on edge this month, there’s plenty of reason for it. The trick is to remember, you’re not alone. Pretty much everyone around you is a bit on edge. 

It’s not a competition.

You don’t have to be more sleep deprived than your co-worker.

You don’t have to be more on...