That’s it.

Giving and Forgiving.

They’re both gifts that you benefit from.

All kinds of research has been done around the positive effects of giving.

And all kinds of research has been done about the effects of forgiving others, too.

Both acts result in a boost of endorphins and ultimately, a lightening of your psychic load.

Think about that person that wronged you a few years back.

Do you think that they’re sitting in their room somewhere reminiscing about how badly they screwed you over? Nope. 

They probably didn’t even intend the kind of transgression they inflicted at the time. And even if they did, they’ve moved on with their lives. They’re different than they were at the time it happened.

Think about a time you wronged someone. You might still feel guilty about it. 

If you do, think about whether it makes sense to reach out. 

Before you do, recognize two things: You’ve...

A while back, there were “full-service” gas stations. You could pull up to a pump and out would run an attendant to pump your gas for you. He (almost always “he”) would ask whether you wanted your windows cleaned and to check under the hood.

The attendant would check your oil, washer level, and radiator water. If they were really thorough, they’d check your transmission fluid and brake fluid levels as well.

Then came self-service islands and you got to choose whether you wanted all of that to happen for a few cents more per gallon than to pump your own gas and check under your own hood.

And now we live in the self-service era where we’re pumping our own gas or finding charging stations for our EV. 

And we assume that everything under the hood is good. We’re running down the highway, aren’t we? Everything is juuuuuuussssstttt fine, isn’t it? It is, isn’t it?

We’re in...

Yikes! It’s December already. 

I know… I didn’t want to be reminded either. And yet, here we are!

This is the season of joy, of giving, of credit card debt, and overeating. It’s the season of forced family gatherings or happy get-togethers. Or maybe a mix of all of that. 

No one day or month or “season” is good or bad. No moment is good or bad. 

Do bad things happen? Yes.

Do wonderful things happen? Yes. 

Can you control the events that will happen this month and the emotional reactions you’ll invoke from being with certain people or giving just the right gift?

Nope. No, you can’t.

Can you control your response to absolutely everything?

Yes, yes you can!

Look, I know that A LOT of people look forward to this time of year. It’s also true that for many, this time of year evokes memories of hard times in the past. And there are many going through hard times now. 

...

Landing between the holidays, we take a breath. We also gear up for last minute shopping and putting ourselves into debt we didn’t intend. And we eat and indulge because, hey, it’s the holidays. We promise ourselves that the New Year is coming, so we lighten up on our previous promises to ourselves.

You’re shaking your head. 

I’m not blaming here; I’m highlighting a broader issue that seems to plague the collective “we” year after year at this time.   

How is all of this about a success hack?

While it is absolutely normal and natural to live our lives in rhythms (think seasonal), we can also attune ourselves to think in harmonics. That is, as one cycle rises, we also can be planting and preparing for the dip of that cycle. 

Too often, February becomes a month of regret. 

The bills come in, the winter weight is noticed, and the New Year’s resolutions have fallen away. If...

Living in Gratitude is truly amazing.

“Thank you” are the first two words out of my mouth every morning. Really. That’s the start of my morning ritual. And I do it deliberately with consciousness. 

And yet… does it ever feel like you’re being inundated with the notion that this is the month to give thanks? Maybe it’s starting to feel like a demand.

It IS November.  Tomorrow (in the U.S.) is Thanksgiving. We need to gather around a table and celebrate something that isn’t even historically accurate. 

Hey, I’m not being cynical. I’m inviting an awareness to a process that we all grew up in.

(Much like the 40-hour work week that began as a function of a law established pre-WWII, we get to question what works for us and what doesn’t.)

Personally, I’m not sick of being grateful. As I started this blog with, living in gratitude is truly amazing. And I really do begin each day with...

I didn’t know how badly I needed a break. I’m pretty good being in GO mode. And I coach my clients to plan for a weekend away every few months.  Well, I’ve been reflecting on my birthday get-away that was a couple of months ago. After coming off of a multi-city tour of speaking, coaching, and business building, I spent four days in the land of play.

My wife picked me up at an awards ceremony. She, in her jeans and t-shirt, and I, in my formal wear, left the Beverly Hilton hotel for an adventure at… Disneyland. It’s an odd choice, perhaps. And, that’s what we (my wife and I) do. 

We’ll do weekend get-aways.

We’ll plan trips here and there. 

And somehow, I always seem to be working because there’s always something next. Had I not been living in alignment? No, not really.

I’m sharing this story because we often know what to do. And we find “reasons” (aka excuses) for doing just...

“I’m right.” 

“No, I’m right!!!”

The shouting goes back and forth and there’s no exit to this “right-fighting.”

No one goes into a debate to be convinced by the other side. We’re each so ready to convince the others that our way is the only way, that we fail to see any sliver of possibility that there might be a different way. 

The truth is, we all miss something. 

In my most recent TEDx that has climbed past three-quarters of a million views, I spoke about the need for a Parallax Perspective. If you approach every situation with the knowledge that you’re missing something, then you’ll actually get further in influencing others. 

Right-fighting is like a bad game of eternal tug-of-war. And yet there is no tug of war if you’re not picking up the rope!

Getting people to do what you want or to believe the way you want them to is often mistakenly about...

This is a big, personal share. 

The caterpillar creates a cocoon and then doesn’t automatically become a butterfly. Before that happens, the caterpillar turns into a gooey, oozing soup. It dissolves its caterpillar-ness. And a transformation happens. 

The transformation isn’t pretty.

And the transformation isn’t instantaneous.

We all have stories that came from rules we learned before we had a big, world perspective. We learned what it took to survive, to be loved, and to feel worthy.

I grew up with such a paradox of rules. 

On the one hand, my parents were fans of self-esteem and building that in their children. On the other hand, I learned that it wasn’t okay to feel too much self-esteem (and later learned that doing so would threaten the esteem of the dominant parent). As such, I ventured into the big world with unconscious rules that stopped me from pursuing BIG goals. 

I learned to go along to...

Those three words – Values, Vision, and Vitality – have come up a lot, haven’t they?

These key stepping-stones are at the foundation of my work with exceptionally high-performing leaders. Without them, you won’t have an effective organization and, dare I say, you will never feel quite fulfilled in your life. 

How do you really get that sense of personal and professional well-being? This is about Exponential Success™ and it’s yours to step into.

First – 

Recognize that your values have changed over time. They’re supposed to. You’re not who you were. Your organization doesn’t exist in the same era as when it was founded. You’ve changed. The people around you have changed. The world's culture has changed. 

So what do you value now?

Where do you see yourself and your organization heading?

What values must you live into in order to attain that big-idea goal?

Next...

I’m going to give you the punchline right up front.

They were playing a ground game.

The tortoise and the hare were playing small and got so many things wrong. That means that “slow and steady wins the race” is an antiquated way of thinking. So is a jackrabbit start. They were missing so much.

First, they compared their progress to each other.

Stop it. Your progress is to be compared to your yesterday. Are you better in any way from yesterday (in health, wealth, wisdom, or relationships)? What did you do to grow or lift someone else? Start there.

Next, they played small by not recognizing alternatives. They had their own attributes and whose race were they running? While the tortoise couldn’t run as fast as the rabbit, the rabbit would have been a dehydrated mess had they decided to go across a desert since the tortoise can survive a year or more without water. (Yes, I just looked it up so I could share that trivia tidbit with you.)

...