It’s said that if you put a frog in cool to lukewarm water and ever-so-slightly turn up the temperature, the frog won’t notice as it becomes acclimated to the higher temperature. When, at some point, the frog ends up in boiling water, it’s too late.

Kind of gross, I know. 

What’s sad is when we do that to ourselves. We tolerate and tolerate and tolerate until we’re overwhelmed by something we would have never let into our lives if we were paying attention. 

For me, it was clutter… piles of papers and reading material that was (is?) sooooo important, I just had to have it out where I could see it. If it were to be filed (or tossed) I might forget about it and then would never circle back to it. 

You might think that if it were that important, certainly, I’d come back to it. The truth is that I don’t know if I would or not. I can tell you that I had a bad habit of saving stuff because I...

I just got back from a root canal. WooHooo!!! Such exciting news, I know. Pretty much everything in life brings with it lessons because of the meaning that we give to things. And we are amazing at giving meaning to things, right??

Is it hard to go to the dentist? Is it exciting to be referred to an endodontist for care? Um, well, it depends. It’s not the easiest thing to wake up in the morning and say, “Yessss! Today’s the day for my root canal.” Everything is hard until you experience it enough. Then, it becomes not so hard. That said, no one should become an expert patient when it comes to having root canals done. 

The truth is that practicing anything that isn’t something you look forward to makes it easier and builds expertise. And practicing anything you do look forward to makes “the easy” even easier.

I’m an expert dish-doer. I can just get ‘em done. I don’t look forward to it and I...

Why does everything seem so hard?

Some people live their lives with that question, while others look like they’re floating from task to task, situation to situation with such ease.  

The key is that it, whatever IT is, really can be easy. 

What’s the thing that you’re focusing on?

What’s the smallest component of that thing? Ah, think even smaller.

If you were to stand pillars up in a row and had them arranged in size of height, tipping the smallest of the pillars into the next – much like dominoes - each would fall to the next and the next. The demonstration is one illustrating how moving the smallest can easily topple the biggest in incremental waves. 

Be aware of the thoughts you tell yourself as you tackle your tasks, your conversations, or really any of your daily activities.

Make it easy, because it is.

Be mindful so that it stays easy.

Whether it’s coming through a divorce or packing...

I had a realization recently that was sparked by feeling really uncomfortable. I was almost defending what I had been doing for the past three and a half decades. While I’m always working on improving and I continuously learn and grow, I found myself defending my expertise.

It’s my area.

What happened that I felt like I needed to prove myself?

Old stories. It’s just that simple. A question got in that wedged doubt in and pushed the “not good enough” button. Old stories carried forward and the questions surfaced: “Do I actually know enough? Am I the right person to show up for this?”

So what’s The Truth?

The truth is that questioning worth is allowing the lie of an old story a lot of us carry forward. We’re good at what we do. We’re even experts when it comes to what we do. And when a small sliver gets in, just under the skin, it starts to fester. 

Clean that out fast.

Remember...

Here’s something that has come up over and over throughout the years and I don’t think I ever wrote it anywhere. It’s a way to keep yourself emotionally neutral when you’re dealing with family members or team members, managing up or down the line.

Here’s an especially great approach to use for yourself, too!!!

Focus on three things:

1. What was the expectation or desired outcome?
2. What was the actual outcome or result?
3. What needs to happen next?

Counseling a team member or celebrating a win can use these steps!

Resetting goals for yourself can rely on these, as well!

“Hey (team member or family member or your name here), your job was to get (xyz thing) done in a particular way. That did/didn’t happen. In fact, what did happen was ________. What needs to happen next is (action steps or celebrations).”

Also, check in with what support might be desired to reach that goal.

And contract for an...

Spring has sprung and I’m looking at the past quarter wondering how the calendar pages are turning so quickly. 

With a change in season, we’re all offered the reminder that a change in outlook is possible.

And I’ll push that further. Not only is a change possible, it’s necessary. Look at the baggage and wreckage you’ve taken with you from the past several years. We’ve lived with looming fear day after day. Our trust in the political system eroded, our trust in the educational system eroded, and worst of all, our trust in each other eroded. 

How we approach the world affects everything and it’s important to be deliberate about that from the moment we awaken. Personally, I make it a habit to say “Thank You” as the first two words out of my mouth each morning. Yep, I start the day in gratitude for the day. And guess how that helps the rest of the day flow! 

So today, the way you’d...

“I’m living the dream…”

Or

“I’m still chasing my dreams!”

Or

“I’ve given up on my dreams.”

Or…

What’s up with those elusive dreams?

You had them when you were younger. You believed that they were possible. You got into a routine (might we say “rut”), and now those dreams seem so far behind you that there’s no reason to reach back after them.

And that’s true, there’s no reason to reach backwards.

Stop reaching for yesterday’s dreams!!!

That doesn’t mean that you should give up dreaming, wishing, or desiring.

Here’s what it does mean: You might be holding onto something that anchors you to a past that’s unreachable. The famous quote from the old On The Waterfront movie, Marlon Brando utters, “I coulda been a contender.” 

I think about dreams of the past the way I think about grieving a loved one’s passing....

There have been some truly odd things that I’ve seen and heard in the three and a half decades I’ve worked with organizations’ leaders. As my DynamicLeader® Brand is shifting a bit, I was reflecting on the good, the bad, and the SMH confusing leadership moments I witnessed.

What Happened?

My work is about clarification, it’s about communication, it’s about curiosity, and it results in boosted productivity and, dare I say, a sense of fulfillment!

And that sounds so easy and fun. The thing is, I’m called in to support teams in becoming more efficient and leaders in the skills of leadership because things are messy. 

As I worked to build a communication bridge between two departments within the same corporate division, I asked a question about his ideas on collaboration.

“Can your group work in tandem with the other group? Can’t you find a way to collaborate?”

He was serious when he...

I’m in a class at 6am every morning. It’s an online group and the good news for me as I travel is that the classes are recorded so that I can come back to them to pick up the ones I missed. When 5am rolled around today, I rolled over, happy that I had time, knowing that if I needed to sleep just a little longer I could, and convincing myself that since I worked out hard yesterday, my body needed the rest.

When I opened my eyes at 5:50am, I had a flood of thoughts that ranged from “I could roll over for just a little more sleep; it’s still dark out” to “Oh my gosh, I’m not late” and “I committed, I need to do this.”

I leapt out of bed, “Thank You” being the first words out of my mouth. Yep, even in a rush, I’m grateful to have this day. I gathered my workout clothes and headed to my computer. This did two things: 1) it got me to my class on time… dressed, and 2) it prepared me to work...

“Go ahead. I trust you.” Powerful words that aren’t uttered lightly. When clients speak these to me, I’m honored and hold the promise of that trust as sacred. I know I’ve earned it. I know that my actions, my comments, the amount of push I give because of the insights I offer, that’s all based on being real and true to myself first. 

You can’t trust me if I don’t trust myself and, conversely, I can’t – and won’t – trust you if I don’t get a sense that you don’t trust yourself. Are you trustworthy?

Do a quick check in with yourself. Don’t just knee-jerk react to say that “of course” you are. Think about this: Are you Trust Worthy, worthy of being trusted by others and certainly first, are you worthy of being trusted by you?

When you tell yourself that you’re going to change a habit and on day two you revert, are you trustworthy? When you are dealing...