You know I’m a fan of “begin before you’re ready.” I’ve seen so many people that keep themselves stuck because of the lies that they tell themselves and try to convince me of, “I’m not ready just yet.” They soften it with those last two words.

Really, I’ve seen A LOT of ambivalence over the years. People will tell me that they want to work with me, they know their life will improve, they want the programs that they’ve heard are life changing. And yet a commitment isn’t fully made.

And from where you’re sitting, you might be wondering why people don’t just make a commitment. Or, you might be reflecting on those New Year’s Hopes that weren’t really resolutions after all and realizing how they fell away, yet still linger as a distant wish.

The key is decision plus action.

The obstacle is ambivalence and that shows up as resistance. You tell yourself stories that include...

Think about the last thought you had. Whether it was, “okay, I’ll just read this and then I’ll…” or “I wonder what he means by that headline,” your thoughts are future focused. THAT is why it’s SO important to pay attention to them.

From, “I wonder what’s for dinner” to “That jerk at work probably didn’t get his stuff in on time,” you’re predetermining your future condition.  

The reason I start every morning with gratitude, “Thank You” being the first two words out of my mouth as I awaken each day, is that doing so sets the stage for me to think about the day. I’m in gratitude, so I get to do things in my day.

My thoughts float to what I get to do, not what do I have to do and who is going to need something from me. I choose to serve greatly each day. That’s a thought I have and it sets up my future… even if that future is simply...

I’m changing. 

I’m growing… a lot. 

And as such, my focus is changing. You know, I used to find places where I could inspire hope. And, to a degree, I’m still a cheerleader. With that said, I’ve also grown past simply telling you that you could be better, that you could step up, that you could live a life beyond the one you’re living.

I’m The Breakthrough Success Coach

And while it  is still true that you can live a life beyond the one you’re currently living, my approach is different. And you may need to hear this.

The level of excellence in your life is up to you. What you don’t need to hear anymore is that you have a voice in the world. You’ve followed my work long enough to know that. You may or may not yet be able to speak up in all the places that you want or need, and yet you know that you can.

Here’s where things get interesting – your state of mind...

A lot of my inspiration comes from my VIP clients. They’re people with success behind them who know there’s more for their lives – there’s more to do, more to have, more difference they can make in the world, and more to become. It’s fascinating work as they grow through who they were on their way to becoming more of who they want to be.

At some point each of them has faced a hard truth: they’ve been spending a lot of time and energy to make sure that other people like who they are or what they do. The reason that’s a hard truth is that we’ve all done that to some degree. Those that are continuing to grow and expand their exponential excellence and impact in the world understand something else:

Not everyone is your audience.

You’re not doing what you do to make sure everyone is okay, going to like you, or say nice things about you. This next piece is something you need to really consider carefully:

...

Personal growth is a really difficult balance of being yourself and growing beyond the person you are now. 

Just be yourself.

That’s sage advice, because being anyone other than who you are is difficult.

And yet, that’s what growth is. It’s difficult.

Growth means you’re leaving behind something that got you here. The analogy of the caterpillar to butterfly is overused. So think about this: the toddler had to give up crawling. Now, as an adult, you know that you can crawl. You also know that except for very rare circumstances, that won’t serve you. 

One of my favorite quotes comes from Emerson who said that the mind once stretched by a new idea can never return to its original dimensions. 

You wouldn’t want it to, would you? 

So what if you attempted something new?

You probably won’t be great at it right away. It requires you doing something you’re not used to. If...

The truth is, Valentine’s Day doesn’t really matter all that much. It’s an arbitrary day on the calendar to profess your love for someone who you’d hope might already know. The chocolate, flowers, and greeting cards industries will make you think that a particular day matters. It doesn’t.

Or… does it?

Well, kind of… 

Use Valentine’s Day as a reminder. It’s a reminder of something that you might want to mark on your calendar randomly. 

The reminder is this – 

You’re with someone special. 

And if you’re single, you’re still with someone special.

Try this: take out your calendar and randomly scroll down a few weeks – three, four, five, or six weeks. Just scroll. Pick a day and open your calendar to that date. 

Mark this on your calendar: DO SOMETHING SPECIAL

Now scroll randomly another three, four, five, or six weeks. Pick a random...

In working with a client recently, we were discussing how the rules we were given early on have lingered with us. They become stories and they even come out of our mouths as rules we end up imposing on others.

“Make Good Choices”

It’s a life lesson we like to impose on ourselves and others. Yet if we tell that to our kids who have no frame of reference or life experience, we really are asking the impossible. 

We’re really asking a question – and perhaps need to change that dictate to the question it begs:

What Do You Think the Consequences or Outcome Will Be?

A lot of times, as adults, we don’t actually know the answer to that question and that stops people from moving forward, from testing things, and from learning. As an intelligent adult reading this, think about the times you’ve been sidetracked trying to find ALL of the information before moving forward on something.

Sometimes, you’ll fail.

When I clasp my hands together, my left thumb just naturally lands on top. We each have preferences for what just "feels" right. 

Clasp your hands together. Note which thumb is on top and which pinky is on the bottom. It just feels right. Now, open your hands and close them together again with the opposite thumb on top and your other pinky on the bottom.

It feels just a little awkward, but it’s doable. 

You have preferences in what feels right, and those preferences carry over in how you operate in the world. For example, when looking at your future, you might think in terms of how amazing it will be. Or you might think in terms of the details about what’s needed in order to take yourself forward step-by-step. 

In my #1 Best Selling Book, The Significance Factor, I give you a quick assessment for whether you’re more Operational/Tactical or you’re more Strategic/Inspirational. You probably have an idea. The question...

When I coach my VIP clients, I’ll always start with exploring what my clients say they value and then look at what really shows up.  From there, we can work on realigning what’s important by getting clearer on actions vs. stated desires.

And with that said, I’ll declare something that is now probably very obvious to you: 

Resolutions Don’t Work

Do you know why? It’s because no one is ever truly “resolute.” 

When was the last time you made a “resolution” and kept on it past mid-Feb? Resolutions aren’t the same as goals. And that makes them harder to live into.

Instead, create a values-based filter and focus. What one word can you live into a little bit each day? Think about it. What word will serve to guide you? 

Some examples might be:

• Loving
• Present
• Connected
• Spiritual
• Wealthy
• Healthy

Look at any one of those words. You can set your filter in the morning and at the end of...

I expect a lot of myself. 

And here’s a big secret not many people know about me: I’m also kind of critical of myself – there’s a “not good enough” self-talk that pops up every so often. Yeah… I get it too. 

There’s a realization I came to recently, it was sparked by some reading and then a lot of heavy reflection. It was about how we treat ourselves and I wanted to share that concept here.

If you’re building walls against the world, if you’re critical of yourself, if you’re soothing yourself and your basic anxieties in life with food, sex, or other substances, there’s a question to ask – Is This Love?

The way you woke up today and started your day, is it Love?

The way you spoke to yourself and the people around you, is it Love?

If you’re in sales, are you selling from a place of Love?

If you’re in service, are you serving from a place of Love?

If you’re...