Ahhh… the beginning of the holiday season. 

We’re faced with multiple challenges for the holiday season, especially as the pandemic wears on. So often we put on emotional armor in an effort to protect ourselves from the horrible conversations or confrontations that come up over the holidays. They don’t have to, but all too often, they do.

What happens that you’re thrown off by the holidays?  

How are holidays different than the not-holidays?

Here’s a little truth for you: 

Whether you’re running a business or running your family, you can’t do either well, if you’re not running yourself correctly.

The scripts play out in our heads, “She’ll say this. Then, I’ll say that. Then so-and-so will chime in and then xyz will happen and then the whole day will be ruined.” Hmmm, now what kind of cranberry sauce shall I make?

The TRUTH is that you’re as much about creating the drama as the person who brings it.  Is the other person offensive? Will they talk politics or be degr...

I have the pleasure of speaking with senior leaders across the country. Sometimes themes arise and I feel compelled to pass these along. If there’s something going on for two or more of my clients in different parts of the country, there’s something people need to focus on.

Most people think of redundancy as a bad thing. 

In fact, many definitions point to something that’s redundant as something that’s no longer necessary or needed.

So how is redundancy in your personal and professional life akin to duct tape, something that holds it all together? Let’s take a lesson from engineering and the tech sectors, shall we? Redundancy is noted as being components that aren’t necessary for the running of the thing, but are used as backup in case of failure of the thing/system.

As I type this, I have my iPad near me. It has a Bluetooth keyboard. So, if my computer went out, or if the keyboard I’m using went out, I have a backup.

Most people have more than one credit card. Why? Fo...

Just hold on loosely

But don’t let go

If you cling too tightly

You’re gonna lose control

- 38 Special 

That’s it, really. If you’ve ever tried to manage something and felt like you were losing control, it’s likely that you were holding on too tightly. That you were trying to manage every little thing. And that’s the most wonderful balancing act you’ll ever do with your business or with those you care about.

You have to hold on, it’s your business or family or friendship. And if you feel like you’re being pushed back on or worse, ghosted or ignored, it’s probably a sign that you need to lighten up.

So how do you keep track of the things you think you need to track?

You ask what is needed to get to the outcome.

• “We’re headed toward our deadline. What can I help with?”
• “We’re coming up on a weekend, I’d like to see xyz for myself/us. What needs to happen for that outcome to happen?
• Note that this is a good way for you to state what you’d like without demanding i...

Did you ever notice how easy it is to get through the day and really not say much to other people? Sure, you engage. There’s work to be done. Niceties are exchanged. And at the end of the day, did you really connect with anyone… really?

In my history, I’ve worked as the HR Director at Whole Foods (NorPac Region), I’ve worked with senior leadership at AAA and Pride Institute doing Organization Development, and I’ve been the interim director of the Haight Ashbury Free Medical Clinic. I look back at some of the stuff I’ve done and marvel at the experiences I’ve had. And that list isn’t complete by any means. 

There’s one job I had that taught me a lot. I ran a locked psychiatric facility for five and a half years. I learned a lot about management. I learned a lot about leadership. And I learned a lot about myself. (I can apologize to my team now. I’ve learned so much since that time a couple decades ago, I think I was an adequate leader, but not a great leader.) 

Here’s one pr...

As you read this, pause for a second. You’re good, right? Your life is good, mostly? I mean if it stopped right now, look around at what you have, if your life stopped right now, you’d be okay. Wouldn’t you?

So many people I work with have such a shocked response to that. They swing from looking at all of the negatives and will talk about how life isn’t that good to talking about what is left undone. There’s so much that isn’t complete yet.

True, negatives are out there.

True, there’s a lot left undone. 

And if you could put your life on “pause” for a moment, just to take inventory, you’re okay, right? 

Those that want to push back have a point. Those that are able to pause for a moment, understand that it’s only a moment.

And this is the crux of living happily dissatisfied. 

If you paused your life right now, you’d have A LOT to be grateful for. A LOT. Yes, there are negatives and we’ll call those things the weeds. There are also a lot of positives for which y...

Yesterday was my birthday. (Thank you… thank you…) That makes it my New Year. And, for you, tomorrow starts Q4 of 2020. The year is not over.  I know you are painfully aware of that. The good news is that you’ve found a pace that actually works for you. You found out that you’re resilient in ways you didn’t know you could or would be. And, you recognize that even with everything falling down around you, you’re strong and you still have choice.

That is the magic you bring to the world: your strength, your resilience, your courage to face another day of unknows. And that’s your story.  Unique and powerful.

You might be asking where the Happy New Year stuff comes in. Two places, actually!

First, I use birthdays to do a personal inventory. It’s my personal New Year. So I look back at what goals I had. I reflect on my journey over this year. I look at what I did and what I didn’t do. And I look at whether my goals have changed.

Psssssssttttt

Your goals change. Let them.

The j...

How amazing is it to recognize how resilient you are!!! 

Look at how much you’ve gone through and gotten through in these past six months. We’ve all been giving great opportunities to live into a different way of life.  Certainly, it’s not without stress. It’s pressure that shows us who we can be.

You are resilient.

You have courage.

And there’s a bunch of “stuff” from your past that it’s time to unpack and let go of. If you look at how you’ve reacted or responded this year, you’ll notice that some things just got handled. Other things seemed like a struggle.

Old rules that were imposed from your youth seemed to have surfaced. “You can’t do that. What will other people think?” Anything echoing in your head that sounds like judgment is someone else’s voice. You need to assess whether it still serves you.

Leverage, don't live there. It was foundational and much must be let go of. 

Bruce Lee was famous for his “Way of No Way.” That is, he recognized that there ...

I’ve seen so many people hope and strive.

I’m allergic to those words. 

Hope is so important to have, and it doesn’t do much for you after the initial experience of it. 

Striving is like trying. I never want a surgeon to strive to do her best. I want to be assured that she’ll do her best. I don’t want my accountant to strive to do his best. I don’t want my friends to try to meet me at a certain time and location. Do it or be clear that you won’t.  

The same concept goes for chasing your dreams. 

Don’t get me wrong. I have BIG GOALS and ASPIRATIONS for myself. I spent a lot of time (and money) trying to get the right answer, put the next thing in place, planning, and looking frantically at where I needed to be. 

What I missed then, that – if you’re seeing me on social media these days – you’ll notice that I’m not chasing my dreams. I’m living them. I’m doing the work, step-by-step, so that every day my dreams come to me. 

Chasing dreams implies a frantic search or blind ...

A couple of weeks ago, I took the center stage on an Amazon Prime TV series called SpeakUp! I’m in season two. It’s pretty exciting. It’s like a TED talk; made for TV. It’ll air next month. And, you’ll get a preview about my talk here!

The Power of Being Unreasonable focuses on the stories we’ve been told and what we’ve accepted from “influencers” or those in authority along the way. The voices in our heads, those not ours that stay with us, need to be challenged.

Along my personal journey, I was told everything from “you’re just not living into your potential” to “you’re just not good enough.” I had a teacher in high school laugh at me telling me that I’d never earn a PhD, that it was ridiculous, that I was ridiculous for thinking I could or I would.

But I did. Deep inside, I knew there was more. So I went on.

It’s important to look at where you’ve been told to aim for goals that are “realistic” or “reasonable” because those suggestions tend to be based in other people...

Is it lonely at the top? It can be, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s a long-endured myth. 

No, leaders aren’t necessarily friends with their team members or line staff. They can be friendly without being friends. That doesn’t mean that they should isolate. Specifically, if you’re finding yourself lonely, alone, and frustrated, you’re doing it wrong.

Surrounding yourself with people who are also pushing to serve greatly acts to inspire and propel. When you seek coaching to get an outside perspective on your personal and professional processes (yes, both), you begin to excel past where you’ve been.

The language choices here are deliberate.

• Push.
• Serve Greatly.
• Excel.

The reason that leaders get burned out is that… they don’t actually lead.

That’s a surprising truth you may not have wanted to admit. You’re busy trying to run your organization, division, unit, section, family. There are logistics you’re putting in place. And… you’re not leading. You’re probably...